Am I Wrong For Getting Angry With My Husband After He Said Nothing Will Change Whiles I Am Pregnant?

I am twenty-six years of age and my husband is twenty-eight, who for this purpose we will call Kwame. We have known ourselves for five years and married for three. We recently attempted to have a baby as we both believe now that it’s the next milestone of our marriage. Based on pregnancy tests three weeks ago it has been confirmed that I am pregnant.

We were both excited and have gone on to announce to our families about this pregnancy. My mother and mother-in-law want to throw a big baby shower in honor of us.

Two nights ago, Kwame and I were getting readied up for bed when he reminded me to go through all the rooms in the house and make sure every single light is off. My husband can sometimes be lazy, and it has become part of my job in the house to ensure all the lights are off before settling in bed.

I wasn’t feeling well and politely asked him if he could do that on my behalf for that night since he wasn’t busy and was also standing by the door. He then replies that “No, this is what is required of you every night.” I was a little hurt by this insensitivity but I didn’t want to argue with him so I just went ahead and put off all the lights despite feeling sick.

When I came back, to add insult to injury Kwame goes on a long unprovoked sermon mentioning stuff like “Just because you are pregnant does not mean things will change around the house” “You are still required to cook, clean, and do all the house chores every day because how can you be expected to be a new mother if you can’t handle a small work.” He wasn’t shouting or anything, he was speaking to me quietly.

I was shocked to the bones because never for the past five years have I heard him speak or say anything like that. These utterances from him continued for well over 20 minutes and I then interrupted and questioned him “Well what do you intend to do in order to help me during this time of pregnancy”

He then became highly defensive saying he works very hard to provide for me and our future children. I am currently unemployed, my work wasn’t paying enough for me to continue with it so I stopped so that I can continue being a full-time university student.

He ended by ranting that it is not about how I feel mentally or physically but it is the duty of a mum to push her way through and that if he helped me with the house chores I wouldn’t become a good mum.

I became highly angry and began shouting “I wish I knew this is how you felt before I became pregnant with your baby”.

There was a short silence between us afterwards and he started crying so hard. He then left the house and went to stay at his mothers place.

He hasn’t returned yet but my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have called accusing me of breaking Kwame’s heart and with what I told him he isn’t coming back home untli I have apologized to him.

“What did I do wrong by shouting at my husband after he said he wasn’t going to help me with house chores during my pregnancy because it’s a mum’s work to deal with it”

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